vengeful dream

i don't think anyone regularly checks this anymore. it's funny how i've given this blog link to people from my past and they choose to read for a few months, move on, maybe come back, maybe not. 

here is a poem i wrote in 30 minutes.

if you think it's about you it probably isn't.

~~~~~

in my most elaborate fantasies,

you call me begging for my time

‘lets get coffee or something’

you suggest, through gritted teeth,

cards folded and surrender imminent

and I, from the position of complete control

get to stall,

pace my apartment,

take my time and answer

‘I think I could make that work’

In my most elaborate fantasies,

I’m sitting across the table from you

Making direct eye contact

Pleasant, yet cold

Distant and close all at once

I smile weakly at your attempts at humor

I would not roll my eyes in exaggeration

Or use my hands to speak

I would sit and watch you squirm.

I would watch you stumble through the words

You aren’t able to say

Your stubborn soul sticking

 to the roof of your mouth

In my most elaborate fantasies

I leave you, stuttering and stammered

In my most elaborate fantasies

I have the final word

I say,

I hope my memory haunts you

I say,

You ruined me

I say,

you ruined us.