Something borrowed.

Let’s celebrate for a moment and talk about a wedding. Between two young people you know. You know both of their families. You know their siblings. You grew up together, in proximity but not in detail. You know the group of friends they had in high school.

And now these two people are married. It was a matter of signing a document. Of taking a picture, for memorabilia sake. A picture is worth a gazillion, never-ending words.

Two families are merging and if you grew up in my hometown, and went to my grade schools, you would know exactly why it is so crazy/weird/insane.

Everyone knows who these people are. My constant drug dealer in my hometown is someone I knew from high school. Two years my senior, he was grade school buddies with the groom. He detests the bride. But now the crowd is getting a little more intimate, we’re all getting a little older. We never mention this when we come over to pick up green bud from his house. We simply shoot the shit while we smoke. It’s a fair trade.

I’m trying not to veer into my cynical side. Because THAT side of me is mean. I mock. I doubt the relationship’s sincerity. I question the validity. I’m bitter at the utter-fucking-ease that this heterosexual couple had to get married. How the benefits are just a stack of papers away, really. And what is,paperwork, anyway, but a few cuts and dry skin.

The young bride’s cousin put it powerfully. “The only thing you can give is support”

Huh. Just support her. It’s funny, one of the hardest things for humans to do. We simply ignore it. We avoid it at all costs. We make excuses to not listen, to not be there. We’re not strong enough to be present with someone. Instead we gossip behind hushed hands and judged eyes. Because that’s easier, somehow.

This concept of support is now turned and defined as annoying, cumbersome, and tiring. Yet it is free! It doesn’t cost a damn dime to support someone.

I can’t give her money or a job or a house. It is literally the only thing I can give. I hope it works out. I hope she experiences as much happiness as she can. With the circumstances, I hope it’s fulfilled in a satisfying, consistent way eventually. I wish them a lot more luck than congratulations. Because luck is something I cannot give.